


AKA I'll Get the Money

by SteelLily



Series: Songs to Sail a Ship By [7]
Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 21:45:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6537412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteelLily/pseuds/SteelLily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mini fic based on the song Bamboo Bones from Against Me!.</p>
<p>This song prompt and ship pairing came from an anonymous person on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	AKA I'll Get the Money

When the monster stole her best friend, Trish lost a part of herself larger than just Jessica. She floated from home to work back home again. Her paranoia grew into a creature that wore her skin. She felt locked away in its cage. It made her feel like a kid again. So she took control where she could find it: in advanced security systems, in self-defense training and in her work.

Her confidence came back in increments, microscopic pieces at a time until one day she woke up mostly whole. The part of her that grieved for Jessica was still there, stuffed away beneath work, hidden behind her breastbone. The ache had dulled to a quiet hum she barely registered. There was a part of her in the early days of losing Jess that made her realized that perhaps her feelings were more than as friends, more than seeing Jess as her protector.

Love, she realized was the reason that she grieved as if a part of her flew away. It was that same reason that she knew when Jessica came back. Not that she had left the city but the woman walking around in Jessica’s body was not the woman Trish loved. Trish followed the Stepford version of Jessica towards the end. She watched through binoculars from rental cars. She felt part stalker, part detective. Trish regretted that she was not following the night Jessica escaped. She felt it like an unclenching of a muscle. She started crying at work. It was embarrassing but fortunately no one saw.

Trish rushed back to her apartment and waited. She watched the balcony. For hours. She fell asleep on the couch waiting. It became her ritual for those first weeks. She kept her phone on and within reach at all times. Trish cancelled plans with her friends on the hopes that today would be the day. She sent her hopes out into the universe that Jessica was taking care of herself. Trish hired a detective to find Jessica. He came back to Trish with photos. Jessica looked awful, like she had not slept in weeks. Trish wanted so badly to wrap Jessica up and care for her like Jessica had spent so many years covertly doing for her. She never did. Even when Jessica finally showed up at her door. Trish was careful around Jessica, maybe too careful. So she was not surprised when Jessica just stopped. Trish followed her for a while just to make sure the destructive woman did not wind up dead. Trish closed off her heart again.

Eventually, as it had before, the longing dulled. Trish went on about her life. Movement over Zach’s shoulder caught Trish’s attention. Her heart lurched in her chest. Jessica crawled over the ledge. Trish felt equal parts relief and rage. Her apartment quickly cleared, Trish debated how to approach Jessica. She wrapped her scarf around her neck and decided on the language Jessica knew best: anger and disappointment.

Trish knew it was not the best tactic but no softness would break through to the woman. Of course she wanted money. Of course she thought Kilgrave was back. Trish recalled the paranoia that ate at her for months and saw it reflected in the barely concealed terror on Jessica’s face. A frantic chorus of _I love you, don’t leave me_ started in Trish’s head. She knew she was saying all the wrong words. All the words that would make Jess run again and again. _I love you, don’t leave me. I’ll find a way to protect you._

“I was never the hero that you wanted me to be,” Jessica said, desperation colouring her voice.

Something inside Trish broke, “I’ll get your money,” she heard herself saying.

Trish knew she was falling again. Knew it by the weightless feeling in her stomach. The quickness of her breathing. She gathered enough money from her emergency stash to get Jessica safely out of the country. All the things she could have said to Jessica to make her stay to let her protect her and Trish had gone the PTSD route. She silently kicked herself. Trish extended the envelope to Jessica. Jessica was fidgeting and flinching. Trish’s eyes filled with liquid. She wanted to murder Kilgrave with her bare hands. She wanted to say so many things, make promises she was not sure she could keep. Anything. Anything to make Jessica stay. 

_I love you,_ she curled her arms over her chest to keep from wrapping them around Jessica’s shoulders and watched her climb back over the ledge of her balcony. Trish took a shuddering breath, _Don’t leave me._


End file.
